I have tried and failed so many times

To fight sin on my own

My best intentions fall all-too short

And I’m left her feeling empty and alone

I need someone who I can count on

To help protect my heart, my mind, my soul

Someone who cares for me just as I am

But who longs to make my broken spirit whole

So I will lean on you, when the Tempter calls me

I will cling to you, when I am afraid

And I will run to you

Knowing you’re the answer to my prayers

You’re the answer to my prayers

I try to live a life that’s holy

But I’m human, so I stumble and I fall

When I am troubled by these thorns in my side

That’s the time I need you most of all

Lord, make me perfect in my weakness

Hear my humble prayer, a sinner’s plea

Be my rock and help me to remember

That your love an grace are all I’ll every need

And I will lean on you ...

I can’t win this battle on my own

It’s more than I can bear most any day

When I am tempted and begin to fall

Remind me: holiness is just a prayer away (just a prayer a way)

And I will lean on you, when the Tempter calls me

I will cling to you and never be afraid!

I will run to you

Knowing you’re the answer to my prayers

You’re the answer to my prayers

You’re the answer to all prayers

    The week leading up to ordination was a time of intense prayer and preparation for me. This preparation included the Sacrament of Reconciliation.       

    As I sat in the church, recounting the ways I had sinned I became discouraged. How could I represent the Church as a deacon when I keep coming back to confess the same old sins?

    As I prayed, I heard the phrase “Lean on me.” I began to argue with myself. “I’m strong enough to overcome any sin. I can do this myself.” The voice came back again: “Lean on me.” I continued to argue with myself and with “the voice.” Finally, I heard “Lean on me NOW!”

    It didn’t make sense to me at the time. I shared the experience with my spiritual director and how I was living my very own “pity party” thinking that when I fall to sin, Jesus is always there to lift me up - I can “lean on him” after I fall. And that’s true. Jesus is always willing to help the repentant sinner. But there is much more to the story.

    The more I prayed and reflected on this experience the more I realized that God is also there to help us when we begin to fall (not just after we’ve fallen). My friend, Jesus, is just a prayer away, willing to let me lean on him in my weakness and help me from falling to sin.

    This was one of the most difficult songs I have written.